You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
BRING THE BAGELS
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
