Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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