I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
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I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
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Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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