what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
her facebook's as public as her vagina
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
