Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
