I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize