I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize