obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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