wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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