i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize