Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
