She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
