What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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