i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
