the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
