Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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