what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize