she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
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Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
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You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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