Where is the hickey?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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