yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I lost the right to judge tonight
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