I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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