I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
this hospital has no fireball
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
