I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
