And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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