please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
