I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
