I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
