Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
