I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
