are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
