Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
