I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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