I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize