belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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