Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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