the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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