your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
