She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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