I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I have demons in me.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize