I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize