woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
