i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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