I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize