Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
