Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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