He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
