I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
