someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
