we're blogging at a bar
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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