made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
