Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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