She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
