The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
