So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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