did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
