dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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