i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
